Humoresque

halebardul · Data inscrierii: 02/Iul/2009 Mesaje: 2676

Muzici cu haz

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Frank Zappa » Titties And Beer

It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the aide of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
So I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . "
But there was no reply
'Cause she was gone . . .

"Where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my goddamn beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil, . .
He's about this big, . .

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabifch!"
'Cause I was mad at him.
Well he just got out the floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter.
Said: BANG BANG BANG

The sucker just laughed 'n said, "Put it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n all!"
WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tall?"
EVEN HER BOOTS? "Would I lie to you?"
SHIT, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
'WELL DON'T THEY PAY Y'ALL GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"I can't complain when the checks come through . . ''
WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIL,
DO YOU HEAR!
"Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I am the Devil,
Do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here, . ''
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR . . .
GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
I'LL SIGN . . . 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!

"You can't fool me, man . . . you ain't that bad . . .
I mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls I had . . .
Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too . . .
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you . .
"WELL, LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIL SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?

(improvised dialog)

"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
I mean ... hold on a second, boy . . . 'cause that's
Magic Ink!"

And then the Devil puked
'N out jumped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she said:
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"

And then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
That's when the Devil, he farted
An' she went right over the cliff
The Devil was mad took off to my pad
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
etc. repeat

halebardul · Data inscrierii: 02/Iul/2009 Mesaje: 2676

raptor · Data inscrierii: 13/Iul/2009 Mesaje: 105

Ok everyone shut up and listen to the girls sing now ~ Oh, you have to come closer to the mic so they can hear your pretty voices...

Whos that knocking at my door'
Thats what your' supposed to sing

Girls:
Whos that knocking at my door'
Whos that knocking at my door'

*Well.... open the door you fucking whores, said Baracle Bill the Sailor, open the door you fucking whores said Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

Girls:
Shall we go to the dance'
Shall we go to the dance'
Shall we go to the dance'

*Well... the hell with the dance and down with your pants, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, the hell with the dance and down with your pants, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

Girls:
Whats that thing between your legs'
Whats that thing between your legs'
Whats that thing between your legs'

*Well... its only me pole to stick up your holes, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, its only me pole to stick up your holes, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

Girls:
Whats that stuff around your pole'
Whats that stuff around your pole'
Whats that stuff around your pole'

*Well...its only me grass to tickle your ass said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, its only me grass to tickle your ass said Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

Girls:
Whats that stuff dripping down your legs'
Whats that stuff dripping down your legs'
Whats that stuff dripping down your legs'

*Well... is only a shot that missed your twots, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, its only a shot that missed your twots, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor,*

Girls:
What if we should have a boy'
What if we should have a boy'
What if we should have a boy'

*Well... He'll go to sea and fuck like me, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, He'll go to sea and fuck like me, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

Girls:
What if we should have a girl'

*Well, we'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor, we'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

Girls:
What if ma and pa should come home early'
What if ma and pa should come home early'
What if ma and pa should come home early'...*and find us screwing our brains out on the living room floor*

*Well...i'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, its Barnacle Bill the Sailor, i'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, its Barnacle Bill the Sailor*

*GIVE THE GIRLS A HAND*

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halebardul · Data inscrierii: 02/Iul/2009 Mesaje: 2676